Are you having a difficult time trying to get pregnant? Trying to get pregnant can be challenging yet the rewards are priceless.
Unfortunately, many women have a difficult time trying to get pregnant especially in their later years. If you’re currently trying to get pregnant, then allow me to share my journey and the ups and downs with you.
I hope to encourage you to continue on your journey.
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So that, in the end, you can hold your little bundle of joy. I know the pain, hurt and disappointment of when you are trying to get pregnant. But instead of a baby, your period comes another month.
Let us begin a friendship and a bond of support to help each other on our journey of trying to get pregnant.
Many variables can affect a woman getting pregnant. One of those variables is the age factor. In my article Confessions of A Super Mommy 20 Years Apart, I shared candidly about getting pregnant at sixteen years old. Now, twenty years later, trying to get pregnant was not as easy as it was when I was sixteen.
The Age Factor
By the time I got married, I was 35 years old. At 36, my husband and I started working on trying to get pregnant. As mentioned above, I was a teen mom when I gave birth to my beautiful daughter Alexia.
Now, I was 36 and was trying to get pregnant 20 years later.
Along with following my doctor’s advice, I was also praying. Additionally, I believed God and was making my faith confessions. However, it was not as easy to get pregnant like I did when I was 16.
At 16 years old, I had lots of eggs and was very fertile. At 36 years old, I had fewer eggs and was not as fertile as I was when I was 16.
Keep in mind, that at 16 years old, I shouldn’t have been having a baby, period.
However, life happens, and I became a mommy.
As I mentioned in my article Confessions of A Mommy 20 Years Apart, my doctor did not want to give me any birth control.
Why? Because I was 36 and she wanted me to start trying and get pregnant right away.
However, we had a lot going on, and we needed time to get adjusted to living with together. No, we didn’t live together before we got married – for many reasons.
Adjusting To Change
One of the main reasons why I didn’t want to start trying to get pregnant right away because we were adjusting to change. I knew it would be stressful adjusting to living together.
My husband had been a bachelor for years and had his way of living. My daughter and I had lived alone for years, and we had our way of living. Therefore, adjusting to a man in the household would take time for everyone involved.
Additionally, it took us 7 months to close on our house. Then, it was another two months before we were able to move in. Plus, we had to get it painted, cleaned, and purchase new furniture, and so on.
So it became apparent that it wasn’t an ideal time to start trying to get pregnant.
Preparing To Get Pregnant
Each woman is different, so it’s important to consult your doctor about what you need to do. I had a full physical and got everything checked. Praise Jesus, all was well, and all I needed to do was start trying
I had a full physical and got everything checked. Praise Jesus, all was well, and all I needed to do was start trying to get pregnant, now that things were settled and we felt it was time.
Months before I started working on trying to get pregnant, my doctor suggested that I begin to take prenatal vitamins.
Reportedly, the benefits of taking prenatal vitamins before a woman gets pregnant are many. Those benefits include calcium, folic acid, and iron which has many benefits. Additionally, they can help to prevent neural defects, along with pregnancy complications.
Which is why it’s imperative to always consult your doctor when you get pregnant.
The first thing I did once I left my doctor’s office was to order the Prenatal Vitamins that she suggested.
I also became more physical. I had run track as a young girl which helped me to have a high metabolism.
Every opportunity I got to be active I took it.
Instead of taking the elevator, I would walk up and down the stairs. On my break and lunch time, instead of sitting at my desk, I would go outside and walk for a few minutes.
I would also walk to and from work, to the supermarket, and wherever else I could. I would even get up early on Saturday mornings and walk up and down my block. And it paid off because during my whole pregnancy; I only gained 8 pounds.
And it paid off, because during my whole pregnancy; I only gained 8 pounds.
Please subscribe to my email list to be the first to receive my free eBook “How I Only Gained 8 Pounds My Whole Pregnancy and How You Can Too,” when it becomes available soon.
Not long after consulting with my doctor, I began trying to get pregnant. She explained how to track my ovulation. So, I used an app on my phone that I love and still use it today.
I didn’t use any ovulation strips, but I had two girlfriends that used them and it worked very well for them. They both have their bundle of joy today.
Then it was time to for us to begin trying to get pregnant. Here comes the fun part. Sex, sex and a whole lot of sex.
1st Month – January
The first month I tried to get pregnant, and I was hoping and praying and keeping my fingers crossed. Unfortunately our first month-nothing!
Shhhhh, just between you and I. I went to the dollar store and bought a lot of pregnancy tests. But negative test results were confirmed with a period each month. 🙁
Well, of course, I called my doctor for an appointment to talk to her about why I wasn’t pregnant. Now that I look back, I just chuckle at myself. LOL!!
She asked, “how long have you been trying to get pregnant?”
“1 month,” I said! LOL!!
She stopped typing on her computer and turned to me. She asked: “ you’ve been trying to get pregnant for a month and you’re wondering why you are not pregnant yet?” LOL!!
Then she pointed to the door and said: “go home and have sex every day.” LOL!!! So I went home and hubilicous, and I went at it every day!!
2nd Month – February
I Still wasn’t pregnant! 🙁
So I went back to my doctor and questioned why I still wasn’t pregnant? LOL!! She looked at me as if I had ten heads and we laughed. She explains a little bit more about getting pregnant and when to have sex and so on.
3rd Month – March
So back to I went back to see her and told her I was worried because I was still not pregnant.
And considering I was 36, could there be a problem?
She explained that typically, they suggest that couples try a whole year to try and get pregnant before they seek any medical help.
She encouraged me to keep trying and to perhaps have sex every other day. I had explained to her that it was getting discouraging.
Also, she went on to explain that I could get pregnant 25 % of the time when I was not ovulating. So not only have sex when I was ovulating but also when I was not ovulating.
Then she suggested that if after a few more months of trying to get pregnant doesn’t work, then we would begin to run some tests.
4th Month – April
Discouragement was starting to kick in. And I could tell that my husband was perhaps concerned, and not being spontaneous was becoming work.
I heard a preacher preached that if you’re trying to get pregnant, have sex after church while the anointing is high.
On The Couch
So after church one Sunday, while my daughter was in her space doing what she does. I went down stairs where hubby was getting ready to go out, and we went at it.
Something was different that time! It was as if we both used up all of our strength, but I felt within myself that I got pregnant.
Ovulation and Dates
On April 4th my period started and we had sex on the 13th. Ovulation varies for each woman, but many believe that women ovulate on day 14th of their cycle.
Some believe that that is a myth because it can occur at any time for each woman.
But for me, I usually ovulate on the 14th day from the beginning of my cycle, based on the app I used. There is also a window of 5 fertile days but when the egg is released is on day 14.
Remember earlier my doctor suggested that we had sex every other day?
That’s because sperm can live in the body for an estimated 3 to 5 days.
Additionally, remember she also said that I could get pregnant 25% of the time when I was not ovulating? From tracking my period, while I have a window of 5 fertile days, my one day of ovulation is usually on day 14 of my cycle. I had sex on day nine after my period.
Surprisingly enough, it was the same thing with my daughter. At 16, I didn’t understand much about my body. However, now that I have read a lot and have had the same doctor for 23 years, I know better.
A week later, it was Easter Sunday, and we were coming home from church. I felt the hunger that I have never before. I was starving!! I almost asked my husband to stop at a fast food restaurant so I could get something to eat. But because I had gotten up early and made Easter Sunday dinner, I didn’t want to spoil my dinner.
When my husband pulled into the driveway, I hopped out of the truck before he stopped. I ran into the house to take off my suit so that I could eat because I was starving!!!!! It was as if I was starving and if anyone got in my way, I would hurt them.
I remember yelling, “get out of my way!!!” LOL!
I KNEW THEN FOR SURE THAT I WAS PREGNANT!!! Well, at least I was hoping!?
I’m Pregnant, I Think?
I knew right then and there that I was pregnant. I don’t think I had said anything to Hubby because I didn’t want him to be disappointed, so I kept it to myself. I also decided that this time, I was not going to go to the Dollar Store and get a $1 pregnancy test, but that I would wait to see if my period came. Otherwise, I would just pray about it and wait for me to miss my cycle.
And for some strange reason hubby had ordered a pregnancy test along with some other things.
Mommy, Did You Pee on The Stick?
It didn’t help that my daughter kept asking if I peed on the stick. She had told me in January that the Lord spoke to her and let her know that I was going to be pregnant. So every month she would ask, “Mommy are you pregnant yet? I want a little sister or brother.”
And every month, I would encourage her that I would be pregnant soon.
So it was only a few days before my cycle was scheduled to start. In the meantime, my appetite was on 100!!
It was a Saturday, and I expected my cycle on Tuesday. I decided to pee on the stick.
I didn’t tell my Hubby because I didn’t want him to be disappointed and I didn’t tell my daughter.
So I peed on the stick and guess what?
It fell in the sink. LOL!!
But thankfully, it was a First Response Pregnancy Test that my husband had ordered. And in no time, the pregnant line came on. Plus, remember I was a few days away from when my cycle was scheduled to begin.
I wanted to scream!! OMG I’M PREGNANT!!
As I was coming out of the bathroom, Hubby was going downstairs, and I said “Michael guess what? We are pregnant!!!”
The biggest smile came over his face! When I called my daughter and told her that “I finally peed on the stick and guessed what?”
“You are going to be a big sister!”
We were so excited that after trying to get pregnant, that we finally were!! We agreed not to tell anyone, I called my Doctor to schedule an appointment.
Then we went to IHOP, to have breakfast and celebrate some more!
Well, there you have it! My journey of trying to get pregnant.
I am aware that four months of trying to get pregnant is nothing compared to how long some couples have been trying to get pregnant.
And my heart goes out to you.
I encourage you to keep the faith and talk to your doctor about any other avenues that might help you to have your little bundle of joy.
Sometimes, it just takes time.
Allow me to encourage you again if you are trying to get pregnant. There are many variables to trying to get pregnant. While it can be discouraging month after month without success when you finally have your bundle of joy it will be worth it all.
Consulting your doctor is an absolute must, to make sure you are aware of all of the necessary things you need to do.
Taking prenatal vitamins ahead of time helps with your health and that of your baby.
Continue to try to work on trying to get pregnant, and remember that, here at Mommy 20 Years Apart, is a community of support for you.
Please join my Mommy 20 Years Apart, FB Group.
My next article will be about ways to believe God to help you to get pregnant. I believe in turning to God our father to help us with every thing in our lives.
How long did you try to get pregnant? Are you still trying? Leave a comment below or send me an email and we can talk in private there.
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